Spider lilies bloomed, birdsong carried from beyond the river mist, and Lady Shiki was still yammering on about responsibility. In other words, it was probably Tuesday.
Komachi kept staring ahead and tried to keep her head from nodding. The initial horror of being caught taking a nap in her boat had long since dwindled to nothing thanks the sheer volume of words Lady Shiki had used to chastise her. It was always the same, barring the rare times her new boss kept things brief due to pressing engagements elsewhere: an initial sting of fear and remorse, followed by a slow slip into torpor as the lecture kept going and going and reiterating points that yes, were correct, and yes, made sense, but which Komachi both already knew and had already heard that month. Twice.
"Furthermore, the five most recent souls you ferried across were all of the kind which you shouldn't prioritise above those who lived virtuous lives. You know very well that under current circumstances—"
The sermon was still going on? If anything, it sounded like Lady Shiki was gaining a second wind. Komachi fought back a deep sigh.
How Lady Shiki had come to be her direct superior wasn't something she really cared to understand. She sometimes caught wind of the internal politics of the Ministry of Right and Wrong from her co-workers, but her thoughts dwelt almost exclusively on the river and the Shigan side of the world. Therefore, she had been surprised the day the mists had parted at the riverbank to reveal a smiling enma waiting for her, introducing herself as the one judging the souls Komachi rowed to Higan from that day forward.
It had been a really nice smile. It had remained nice even when Lady Shiki had first lectured Komachi on her choice of passengers and the trips she liked to take away from the Sanzu. And the second time. And the third.
She wasn't smiling now. Either she was as frustrated with the status quo as Komachi was, or she could tell Komachi wasn't really paying attention. At least one of the options was proven true as soon as Komachi had thought of it. "Are you listening to me, Onozuka?"
"I am."
"And were you listening to me five minutes ago?"
Komachi sighed, expecting another tirade, possibly punctuated by a whack from the Rod of Remorse. "I tried."
Instead of growing angry, Lady Shiki sighed too. She looked at Komachi with that alarmingly clear gaze of her that always seemed to see straight to Komachi's soul. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
Komachi took a moment to consider what to say. She had already apologised before the lecture had even begun, and in any case, it didn't seem like Lady Shiki was after further pleas for forgiveness. "Are you looking for an explanation or my opinion?"
"I will listen to either."
"Can I be honest?"
"You cannot be dishonest."
An enma's answer, through and through. "I'll give you both, then. At the end of the day, I just don't see what the problem is. It's not like we're short on time here, and even if I sometimes take breaks or ferry across those who shouldn't take first priority, I've always gotten everyone slated for Higan over in the end. Haven't I?"
"Yes, that's true."
"So, that's my argument. The river flows more slowly in some parts, but every drop of water's eventually going to reach its destination."
"But over time, even small actions can alter the course of a river. Ultimately, some of those drops may indeed be lost."
"But when that happens, you can re-alter the river."
"With additional work and effort which wouldn't be necessary if one simply didn't disrupt the flow of the river in the first place."
"It'll feel more rewarding to tackle a big issue like that. So even if it's more physical work, it's going to be easier mentally."
"But at what cost?" Lady Shiki shook her head. "Leaving that for now, the chief thing I don't understand is how you can relax when there's so much left to do in the first place."
"Thing is, if I don't relax while there's work left, when am I ever going to have a chance to rest?"
Komachi had fully expected to hear Impassioned Harangue about Work Ethic Part Two in response. Instead, a miracle: Lady Shiki fell entirely silent. Slowly, she drew a half-step back and turned to gaze at the River Sanzu. When she finally spoke again, it was in a soft voice. "Do you know why your request to be transferred to this post was accepted?"
"Because I wouldn't have been any good as a clerk?"
"Because you were considered suitable for the task. Before I met you, I was told you are highly discerning and possess a great understanding of morality. It's for those reasons, compounded by your resilience and ability to take initiative, that you were thought to be an excellent fit for the role."
"...I never set out to trick anyone to get this job, if that's what you mean."
"No, that's not it. I believe that assessment was entirely correct."
Komachi blinked. "Sorry, Lady Shiki. I think I'm hearing things."
"You aren't. When you set your mind to it and don't knowingly prioritise the wrong things, your results are admirable. Furthermore, everything I have seen of your actions outside of work suggests a very positive and respectable character. I believe you to be be capable of great diligence and kindness alike." Lady Shiki's smile reasserted itself, achingly sincere and so brilliantly bright it left Komachi dazzled. It was like witnessing a rare, possibly illusionary glimpse of the sun through the mists of the Sanzu. "You have been a given a great opportunity to do valuable work which suits your talents. All that's required now is for you to take your duties as seriously as I know you're capable of taking them. Unless there is some external cause keeping you from your work?"
"Er." What was Komachi supposed to say to that? "I can't think of anything."
"In that case, I shall leave you to your work." The rest of the lecture appeared to have been forgotten: Lady Shiki had once again morphed into the peaceable, self-assured woman she had been when Komachi had first met her. "Do you best, Onozuka. I believe in you."
Komachi looked into the bright eyes staring at her and quietly wondered if it would hurt to see the faith in them turn into disappointment. She sighed. "I'll try."
"That is the good deed you can do right now." There it still was, that damn smile. It lit up Lady Shiki's entire presence as though her face had become the morning sun. In fact, when she smiled like that, she was really, really...
"You know, Lady Shiki," the words slipped out of Komachi's mouth like water in a speedy current, too fast to be stopped, "you're really cute when you smile like that."
Lady Shiki gave a start. Her eyes were wide around the edges as she paused to stare at Komachi, at a rare loss for words for the second time that day. Her silence didn't last long. And when the words returned, they brought their old friend ire with them. "Don't change the subject. Furthermore, voicing an observation such as that one is not at all appropriate under these these circumstances, not to mention—"
An entire lecture on suitable workplace conduct followed, moderately interesting thanks to its novelty, but far too long-winded. Komachi listened without really listening, trying very hard not to yawn.
Even so, the memory of the smile lingered for a long time afterwards.
"So." Lady Shiki settled into the bow of the boat like a bird deciding on a spot for its nest. "Should we head upstream or downstream?"
"It's a gamble either way, but..." As she spoke, Komachi steered the boat into the current. "Let's start with downstream."
"That makes things easier."
"Yup. We can just go with the flow." Who preferred making an effort when the alternative was merrily cruising along? "Besides, if it doesn't pan out, we can always try the other way later."
The current pulled the boat into its embrace and began slowly but steadily dragging it downstream. Komachi was content to stand back without steering, breathing in the mist and watching what little could be seen of the shores of Higan from a distance. The souls she had ferried across recently had told her the harshest winter in living memory currently raged in Shigan, but the air around the Sanzu was as mild and foggy as ever. She was looking forward to taking a break soon and travelling to see the mountains of snow and howling storms for herself.
"Komachi?
"Yes, Lady Shiki?"
"While we are here, you could tell me precisely what it was you saw."
Komachi grinned and lowered her oar right to the surface of the river without actually dipping it in. It was always fun to have a captive audience. "I'll start from the beginning. Three days ago, I was on my way back from Higan. Everything was business as usual when I saw a shadow in the mist ahead. At first I figured it was just another boat, but when I rowed towards it for a greeting, it just vanished. I began to think I had hallucinated the whole thing until I spotted the same shadow further away."
"I see."
"So, at that point I had no idea what it was, but I began thinking about this story the ghost of a con artist told me once. Apparently it's really easy to lure people into traps just by taking advantage of their curiosity."
"Which is why you decided to ignore the shadow for the time being and return later with reinforcements."
Komachi smiled. "Actually, I gave chase."
"...But you only just said you thought it was a trap."
"Which is why I figured that as long as I knew that, I could evade the trap when it was sprung." Komachi rolled her shoulders and dipped the oar into the current. "Not that anything came of it. I lost sight of the shadow almost immediately again. I almost forgot about it until yesterday."
"In any case, I'm glad you informed me of it." Lady Shiki peered into the mists ahead with the bright earnestness of someone expecting to catch sight of the mysterious spectre at any moment. "There is likely a simple explanation for it, but it's always best to make sure."
"And here we are." Komachi made a flourish towards a non-existent audience, then settled to gently guiding the boat.
They fell silent, coming to the shared unstated conclusion that the quieter they were, the more likely they would be to pick up on any abnormal sounds. Komachi was so accustomed to dealing with the river's flow she could afford to pay no practically no attention to what her arms were doing and instead immerse herself in looking around. She saw no movement but the shadows of extinct fish flitting about in the depths.
She still couldn't quite understand how this had come to pass. She had invited Lady Shiki along to investigate the strange phenomenon on their upcoming shared day off as much as a jest as a serious suggestion and had certainly never expected her to smile and accept with alacrity. Thinking back on it now still made the back of her neck tingle.
Anyway, it was all good. Even if they would wind up finding nothing, being able to row at her own pace with no fear of reprimand reminded her of all the things she genuinely liked about riverfaring. Besides, it was fun watching Lady Shiki out of her usual element. She sat in the bow as though it was a throne, her habitual smile haphazard as though she had simply forgotten it on her face, her eyes reflecting the river even as they stared into the distance.
In due time, Komachi fell into a comfortable rhythm, nodding along with each sweep of the oar. To and fro, to and fro, along the eternal current of the river...
She wasn't sure when she had begun to sing. The realisation came to her mid-song, the note on her lips wavering and dying as she remembered she wasn't alone. She snapped her eyes open, unsure when she had shut them.
Lady Shiki was leaning her elbow against the gunwale, her smile exceptionally contented. She blinked and looked up. "Why did you stop?"
"I didn't mean to start in the first place."
"That would have been a shame. You have a lovely voice."
"Er. Thank you." Komachi knew Lady Shiki's words had been exactly what they had sounded like: a simple compliment with no covert meaning. Even so, the neck tingles were back. To distract herself, she tried to think of something else to say and struck upon an idea. "I know! Now it's your turn to sing."
Lady Shiki blinked again, this time clearly in surprise. "What?"
"It's fun, right? Do you remember where I left off?"
Lady Shiki kept blinking. Komachi took in the once-in-a-century reaction for a moment before deciding that perhaps she had gotten a bit carried away. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."
"I don't mind. It's simply that..." Lady Shiki looked aside. "I'm not much of a singer."
"Oh." It was Komachi's turn to blink. She quickly morphed her surprise into a smile. "That's not a problem. No-one's here to hear it but me and the fish, and I'm pretty sure we'll all like it just fine."
Lady Shiki drew in a deep breath and held it for a long while before suddenly releasing the first tremulous note. Her singing was unsteady and obviously untrained, almost inaudible in places as she stumbled her way through the tune. Even so, there was a pleasant clarity to her tone, with a bell-like quality to the notes that struck true, and as she kept singing her voice grew less thin and began to stay more or less in key.
Just as Komachi began nodding along, Lady Shiki fell abruptly silent and gave her an almost sullen look. "I did warn you."
Komachi laughed and kept smiling even after Lady Shiki's expression turned into a near pout. "I enjoyed it. Besides, there's nothing wrong with your singing that can't be fixed with practice."
Practice Lady Shiki was unlikely to have time for, now that Komachi thought about it. If the same thought had occurred to Lady Shiki, she didn't show it. She simply nodded without quite meeting Komachi's eyes.
Komachi grinned. So, there's a side like this to you, huh? Out loud, she asked, "Do you know this one, Lady Shiki?"
She began a new song, one she had learnt decades ago. She sang alone for quite a while, heedless of the deafening silence growing around her, when finally, very softly, Lady Shiki's voice joined hers. As the melody kept flowing, Lady Shiki's shoulders began to relax, and the look of intense concentration as she stalked each note gave way to a smile. Komachi matched it wholeheartedly, quickly losing herself in the pleasure of weaving notes together as they kept slowly drifting down the river.
And some hours later, when they discovered the apparition had most likely been a severely misplaced giant swan, which honked at them and threatened to strike the boat with its wings, they had a good laugh over the situation and returned back to where they had begun with a smile on their lips. It was no incident at all. Just a funny little anecdote, a colourful bit of string added to the tapestry of their lives.
A funny little anecdote Komachi found her mind drifting towards as she rowed across the river alone for a long time afterwards.
Komachi waded through the flowers of Higan, careful to avoid stepping on the most fragile blossoms. Resilient though they were, it was still possible to crush them. "Lady Shiki!"
Lady Eiki turned away from the river, the Rod of Remorse held close to her chest. She waited for Komachi to reach her. "Yes, Komachi? Is something the matter?"
"It's the opposite." Komachi flashed her a smile. It wasn't much of a congratulatory gift, but there hadn't been many options on such short notice save perhaps gathering a bouquet, and what would that have meant when they were presently standing in an ocean of flowers? "Congratulations on your transfer."
"Ah. Thank you." A slight frown creased Lady Eiki's brow. "I didn't think you would know already. I only just received the news a few hours ago myself."
It would be for the best if the conversation never veered towards exactly how much of the past several hours Komachi had spent goofing off and angling for rumours. "I expected it, really. After all, you're the one who communicated with the higher-ups about raising the... did they come up with a name for it yet?"
"When I last heard of it, they had settled upon calling it the Great Hakurei Barrier. However, you're exaggerating my involvement in the matter. It was minimal at best."
"Still, you must be pleased."
"I suppose so, yes." While Lady Eiki's smile didn't quite vanish, it grew thin and fleeting enough that it looked like it might fade between blinks. "I wouldn't say I'm troubled, precisely, but my mind keeps dwelling on the subject."
"Really?" That was a rare admission. Komachi just barely managed to keep herself from leaning forward like she was expecting a particularly good yarn. "What's bothering you?"
Lady Eiki drew in a deep breath and turned towards the river. "The plan for Gensokyo is unprecedented. A safe haven for youkai meant to function without sacrificing the well-being of the humans whose existence their lives depend upon? It's easy to see why so many powerful beings have chosen to champion the cause. However, the seclusive nature of the land will also mean the residents are deeply vulnerable to any internal struggles and have little recourse to seek assistance from beyond its borders. The stability of Gensokyo will almost certainly be dependent on multiple powerful factions of youkai becoming locked in a stalemate which prevents any one group from taking over. It will be a precarious balance even with the founders of Gensokyo watching over the situation, and that is before taking into consideration potential external threats."
Komachi nodded along to the explanation. Yes, it was easy to imagine scenarios where Gensokyo began to resemble particularly unsavoury corners of Hell. "How likely do you think it is? That everything goes right, I mean."
"I remain optimistic." Lady Eiki's smile re-asserted itself like the sun returning from behind a cloud. "If Gensokyo works as intended, it will preserve what no other place can. Besides, while it proves very little, it seems as though the official Ministry stance is that it will succeed."
Komachi's eyebrows rose. "Did the higher-ups actually say that?"
"Not directly, no. I cannot even be certain that is what they mean to imply. Still..." Lady Eiki was suddenly brandishing a plain envelope, previously held so closely against the Rod of Remorse Komachi hadn't even notice it. She held it out to Komachi. "You see, the new posting comes with a new title."
Komachi took the envelope. The letter inside was nondescript and written in a hurried hand. It was obviously no official proclamation, and Komachi couldn't even begin to guess who had written it. Instead, she scanned the text and soon found what she sought: a title written down with far more care than any of the characters surrounding it.
She refolded the letter. "Huh."
"Indeed."
"So... Yamaxanadu." Komachi tasted the title on her tongue as she slid the letter back in its sheath. It had a strange tang to it. Strange, but not unpleasant.
"The Yama of Paradise." Lady Eiki gazed down at the flowers. "I sincerely hope it's prophetic."
"Same here." Komachi held the letter out, but when Lady Eiki took hold of it, she didn't let go. "And I hope I get to work in that paradise as well."
Even after all this time it remained a challenge to catch Lady Eiki off-guard. Komachi could only tell she had succeeded by the way in which Lady Eiki blinked, the sudden movement like a crack of thunder on an otherwise calm sky. And as with thunder, sound followed. "Did I understand you correctly?"
"Probably." Komachi couldn't help grinning as she relinquished the letter. "It's about time I applied for a transfer, and I think the dead of Gensokyo will be interesting to talk to. Not that I mean to spend all my time there talking," she hastened to add.
Lady Eiki continued to stare at her.
"Er. Are you against it?" In retrospect, she could have been. Komachi thought they got along surprisingly well all things considered, but that didn't mean Lady Eiki couldn't have meant to use this transfer as an opportunity to make a clean break from her current life, her old subordinates included.
Her apprehension was put to rest when Lady Eiki shook her head. "Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm merely surprised. After all this time, I thought you would have looked forward to an opportunity to work under someone else for a change."
Komachi considered that, if just for a moment. Working under a different enma could mean being on the receiving end of fewer lectures, or it could mean the exact opposite. It would definitely mean severing the red string she sometimes imagined glinting in the sunlight between her and Lady Eiki. She was shaking her head before she even spoke. "No chance. I'd much rather follow you, Lady Eiki."
She realised only afterwards she had slipped up and used the wrong name. But it didn't appear to have mattered, because Lady Eiki simply nodded. When she looked up again, her eyes pierced Komachi. "In that case..." There it was again, the smile that made even the sea of flowers pale in comparison. "I look forward to working together with you in the future as well."
Komachi smiled back, suddenly certain her application would be accepted and that she would soon see the newfound Gensokyo with her own eyes. A small, strange paradise where she and Lady Eiki would go on working together in relative harmony for the foreseeable future. Furthermore, a small world usually meant fewer deaths, which meant plenty of downtime and opportunities to enjoy her life. She couldn't really ask for more.
Well. Perhaps she could. But for now, she was happy to wave Lady Eiki goodbye and set forth with a fresh spring in her step.
Usually, Komachi paid little attention to the people wandering around Higan. She wasn't sure why it happened, but her interest in the spirits usually waned the moment they reached the shore and drifted towards the flowers. For whatever reason, she had always cared more about the world on the other side.
This time, however, she happened to glance in just the right direction to spot a figure clad in colourful garb facing the river. The Child of Miare was always immediately recognisable: after all, it was exceedingly rare to see anyone in Higan not clad in either white robes or a uniform of some description. Komachi approached, curious.
"What brings you here, Aya?" She paused as Hieda no Aya turned towards her. "I assume you still answer to Aya."
"Why wouldn't I? It will still be my name for the next few months."
"The time is nigh, huh?" Komachi looked ahead in an effort to discern what had drawn Aya's attention. The mist above the river was as thick and opaque as ever. "I thought I'd come and see you after you've reincarnated. Assuming people won't take a sudden visit from a shinigami as an ill omen."
Aya smiled. "Perhaps you should wait until I can speak again so I can assure everyone you're an acquaintance from a previous life with no ill intentions."
A gentle breeze, which was the only kind of wind that ever existed in Higan, washed over the flowers and scattered petals into the air. Very few spirits had wandered to this particular meadow to await their judgement: the ones who had shuffled around in silence or else sat in the field with a vaguely dazed look in their eyes. Komachi tried recognising an old customer or two, but not a single face among them rang any bells. Instead, she returned her attention to Aya. "Are you looking forward to your reincarnation?"
"I suppose I am. It's always somewhat bittersweet." The breeze tugged at the ends of Aya's hair. "That is why I came here today. I will forget all of this soon enough, so that gives me an incentive to take it all in while I still can."
"At least you'll get a break from all the work here."
Aya's smile softened. "It's not so bad, honestly. I always adjust to it after a few decades. Besides, is it not work that awaits me in my next life?"
"That's a grim way of looking at it."
"Only if you consider work a punishment."
Komachi chuckled. She and Aya had spoken enough on the subject to know that while they both agreed on the importance of a healthy balance between work and leisure, that was where their similarities ended. "It's a good thing you think of it as a reward, then."
"Speaking of work... is it safe for you to be here very visibly not working?"
"I'm a free woman for the night. I'm waiting for Lady Shiki to arrive so we can go out to Gensokyo together."
"Now there is a rare occurrence."
"So it goes. Our spare time doesn't coincide that often in the first place, and we both need time for ourselves as well." Komachi stretched her arms towards the sky, then made a game of trying to hold her scythe perfectly horizontal. "It's been almost a year since the last time we went somewhere together."
"Well, what is time in Higan?"
"I guess." Komachi grinned as she lowered the scythe back to her shoulder. "Anyway, time to be weird and willingly hang out with my boss."
"I don't think it's so strange. After all, like seeks like."
Komachi burst into laughter. "What seeks what?"
"You haven't noticed it yourself?"
Komachi swallowed back further chuckles. "Obviously. Everyone always accuses Lady Shiki and me of being indistinguishable. Sometimes I can barely tell myself apart."
"I was quite serious, you know. I have long thought you are both approaching a similar destination from opposite directions. For one, I can count the people I know as eager to deliver a moral sermon with a smile on their face as the pair of you with the fingers of one hand."
"You know I've only picked up the habit from getting scolded too often."
"As you say." Aya's eyes glittered with amusement.
Komachi grinned and opened her mouth to draw an equally bizarre conclusion about Aya in turn, but before she could come up with one, she spotted Lady Eiki making her way towards them and so waved at her instead.
Mere moments later, Lady Eiki stood next to them. They were getting Yamaxanadu Classic today: prim and proper, smiling and upright. "Is everything well here?"
"Very much so, thank you," Aya replied before Komachi could say anything, matching Lady Eiki's smile. "As much as I have enjoyed my flower-viewing tour, I must return now if I mean to be back on time."
"Of course. Thank you for your hard work."
Aya inclined her head and made her departure. As she passed by, Komachi could have sworn she winked at her.
Lady Eiki watched her go, then turned towards Komachi. "Shall we go?"
Usually, Komachi expected any weight on her chest to vanish as soon as Lady Eiki's smile landed on her. This time, she had to make an effort to push it aside. It didn't matter. No need to sweat over the small stuff. "Can we take a quick flight around Gensokyo before we find a place to eat?"
"Are you hoping to see some place in particular?"
"I just want some fresh air. I feel like I've been cooped up here for so long the insides of my lungs are covered in petals."
"Didn't you only just loiter in Gensokyo during work hours yesterday?"
"Er."
There was a hint of storm clouds in the air before Lady Eiki sighed and made a return to sunshine. "That doesn't mean you cannot feel as though you're suffocating, of course. I think we could both use a small detour."
Like seeks like, huh?
Holding hands while sauntering across Higan was out of the question and would almost certainly have put paid to their not-a-date before it even began. Komachi was almost grateful Lady Eiki clasped the Rod of Remorse so tightly in both hands that there was no opportunity to act on the urge to take her hand regardless.
"I wish the world were a simpler place."
Komachi hesitated with her drink halfway to her mouth. Lady Eiki was usually a cheerful and outspoken drunk, capable of holding long, uplifting sermons with every syllable pronounced with crystal clarity and showing no signs of intoxication until abruptly passing out. Now, however, she looked quietly up at the roof of the youkai food cart they had stumbled across in the wild, as wistful as a spirit with lingering regrets.
"How many did you have already?" Komachi recalled what she had been doing and downed the drink. The last cup of the night was hardly ever the best one — in her experience, it was usually either the second or the fifth — but it tasted half decent, all the same. "You don't sound anything like yourself."
"The world is straightforward, but complicated." Komachi had been wrong: Lady Eiki wasn't studying the cart at all. She was observing something invisible to everyone but herself. "Far too complicated."
"Okay, you've definitely had enough. Let's head home." Komachi stood up and fumbled for her coins. She placed what she assumed was enough on the counter, and, upon receiving no complaints, blinked at the darkness beyond the lanterns. The world was foggy around the edges, but she felt steady enough. "Can you walk?"
Lady Eiki nodded, and so they left and began their winding way down the foot of the mountain. Starlight illuminated long strips of the ground in a pale glow, but the path kept disappearing into shadows whenever they passed by a tree. Komachi had to watch her own steps just as closely as she watched Lady Eiki's as they navigated between rocks and sudden dips in the landscape.
"Thank you." Nearby branches cast striped shadows onto Lady Eiki's face. "I will reimburse you as soon as we get back."
"It's my treat. And we're not in a rush, anyway." In fact, Komachi wouldn't have minded lingering in Gensokyo a while longer, enjoying the scent of recent rain and the dense heat of a summer night. "I had fun tonight."
"So did I."
Twigs cracked underfoot as they continued on in silence. At length, the sound grew suffocating, and Komachi found herself searching through the growing fog inside her mind for a conversational topic to drown it out. Finally, she said the first thing that sprung to her mind. "You know... I don't always slack off on purpose."
"Really, now?"
"It's not that I hate work. It can even be pretty fun after I get into the proper groove of things. But I don't like it either."
"I was under that impression, yes."
"Sometimes I think all the waiting's the worst part," Komachi continued with the growing certainty it would have been wiser to keep quiet, but unwilling to stop now that she had gotten started. "I spend so much time alone on the boat I start to forget what the point of it all is, and then I feel like if I don't get away from the river, I'll drown in it myself. So of course I'm going to go do something else instead of just sitting there when there's a long break between deaths. Then when there's suddenly more work it feels like an interruption."
"I see." Lady Eiki looked directly ahead. "Tell me if I have grasped your meaning. Due to the relatively low weekly death count in Gensokyo, you have come to associate working hours with amusing yourself, secure in the knowledge you will have enough time to get through all of your work regardless. Thus, you have begun to think of the time spent waiting as your real work and the actual ferrying of souls as an imposition on your time."
Komachi considered this. "That sounds about right."
"However, Komachi..." Lady Eiki frowned. "You used to slack off in the exact same manner even before our transferral to Gensokyo."
Komachi sighed. "You're going to scold me when I explain myself."
"Most likely, yes."
"The thing is, back then I slacked off just because I didn't like to work."
"In that case, why do you keep at it?"
"Huh?"
"If you find serving as a ferrywoman disagreeable, perhaps you would be better off in some other capacity. If you wished it, I'm certain I could find you a position as a receptionist or perhaps as a clerk watching over the lifespan allotment records."
"I've considered that, actually." Komachi sought out the flaxen moon where it was just rising from its bed of clouds. "Honestly, though? I'm happy living this way. I like having time to breathe. I like the independence and the opportunities to meet new people. I even like the actual ferrying sometimes. It's a lesser evil when compared to the other jobs I could be doing."
"Or to not working at all?"
"I couldn't exactly keep slacking off if I no longer had a job to slack off from." But Komachi didn't really feel like joking right then. "I think if I wasn't working this exact job, I'd lose myself pretty quickly. I'm still a shinigami, aren't I?"
"The rumours suggest that, yes."
"And the thing is, even if I'm not the best at walking the walk, I believe in the talk. Someone has to do the job, and even when it's a pain I know deep down that it matters. Besides, I'm not the only person around who doesn't care for their job and keeps plugging along anyway."
"Thank you, Komachi."
"For what?"
"For being honest." Lady Eiki looked pale in the moonlight, but her smile was bright. "And for your vital work."
"Heh, likewise."
"I will make an effort to show more gratitude for what you do in the future."
"That sounds pretty nice."
"Of course, you will in fact have to work for me to able to do that."
"I knew it." Komachi's sigh was mainly one of amusement. She meant to make a joke of it when she suddenly became very aware of Lady Eiki's hand on her arm and instead forgot to breathe.
Did she hesitate for a moment too long? Maybe. In any case, she kept walking since it was obvious Lady Eiki had only grabbed on to keep her balance on the narrow path. The hand remained where it was, their steps synchronising with practised ease.
Honesty, huh? Well, it wasn't as if Komachi had lied. But had she said all she could have said? With each step forward, she could think of more items to add to the list of things she liked about her job.
I like seeing you coming to the river, even when it's to scold me. I like that no matter how busy you are, you always hear me out when I come to you with an earnest request. I like that even though you take everything so gravely, you can still smile and make jokes and admire the beautiful things in the world. I like working under you. I like spending time with you. I like your eyes and your voice and the way you carry yourself so straight-backed even with so much weight on your shoulders. I like it when you smile at me with real warmth. I like you.
It was as if just thinking those words undid the spell: the next moment, Lady Eiki turned her head to look at where her fingers rested near Komachi's elbow. The moment after that, they were standing firmly apart.
"I'm sorry. I lost my balance earlier."
"No wonder. We should stick together while the ground's this treacherous."
"...You're right. You know, Komachi, you are always so..." Lady Eiki groped for words long enough for Komachi to suspect the evening could still end with her hauling a passed-out enma along, then finally struck upon one. "Reliable."
Komachi couldn't help it. She burst into laughter for the second time that day. "How much did you drink again?"
"I'm serious." Lady Eiki sounded faintly cross, but it was clear her heart wasn't in it. "In all matters but maintaining a reasonable working ethic, I have complete faith in you. If only I could tell you—"
Her voice faltered. Komachi couldn't tell if her abrupt halt was the result of her mind catching up to her mouth or due to her tripping on another upended tree root.
"Look." Komachi smiled and hoped she sounded reliable and trustworthy and like her heart wasn't doing cartwheels in her chest. "At this rate we'll both end up falling and bashing our heads on a sharp rock or something. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not deal with the headache tomorrow."
"You have been reasonably steady so far." Despite saying that, Lady Eiki's hand soon made its way back to Komachi's arm.
Komachi matched her, because what else was she supposed to do? Wasn't this supposed to be a carefree outing between co-workers, and didn't that mean there was nothing to this but helping one another to remain upright?
It seemed it was so, as the rest of the journey back to Hell passed without incident. And if the distance between them and their destination seemed slightly longer than it was supposed to be, well, surely the cause behind that was within acceptable limits of worldly desire.
Spider lilies bloomed, birdsong carried from beyond the river mist, and Lady Eiki was still yammering on about responsibility.
It wasn't, in fact, a Tuesday. It was a mild Sunday afternoon slowly transforming into evening, beautiful but unusually cool for early autumn. The blossoms of Muenzuka were in a magnificent blaze: while spider lilies graced the landscape of Higan the year round, Komachi had a particular fondness for the seasonal splendour of these flowers of Shigan.
"Considering the scale of the conflict brewing in Hell, it's all the more important for us to perform our jobs as efficiently as possible. In your case, earning as much money as possible is a virtue..."
Komachi tried to keep her attention on the flowers instead of letting it drift up to Lady Eiki's lips. It was always the same, barring the times her dear old boss kept things brief: an initial sting of fear and remorse, followed by a slow slip into torpor as the lecture kept going and going and reiterating points that yes, were correct, and yes, made sense, but which Komachi both already knew and had already heard... how many times?
Ha. Like she had even tried to keep track after the first decade or so.
Lady Eiki sighed. "You're not paying the slightest bit of attention, are you?"
"What makes you say that?"
Lady Eiki pointed the Rod of Remorse at the nearly complete crown of spider lilies in Komachi's hands.
Komachi chuckled and held up her handiwork to inspect it more closely. "Would you look at that?" The results were pretty good for something she had woven purely through instinct. She waited for Lady Eiki to draw a quick breath, which always meant the sermon would soon go on for another quarter of an hour, then quickly spoke up. "By the way, Lady Eiki?"
Despite being thrown off her rhythm, Lady Eiki recovered quickly. "What is it?"
"My shift just ended. And I'm pretty sure yours did, too."
"Oh." Lady Eiki looked up at the early evening sun. "So they did." She closed her eyes. "By choosing to prioritise those spirits with the least amount of virtue—"
"Lady Eiki." Komachi didn't like interrupting her twice in a row, but today, it felt worth it. "We're off the clock."
"I'm no longer speaking as your superior. I'm now speaking as a concerned friend."
Komachi sighed. "I get it. I'll make amends. I'll perform good deeds. I'll hang onto every word you say the next time you lecture me for as long as I can."
Lady Eiki blinked slowly and took her time to consider Komachi's words. Eventually, she nodded. "Very well. I trust you."
"Thanks." Komachi meant to keep her word, as it happened. No point sweating over for how long: the important part was that she did it at all. Celestial law was kinder upon those who at least tried than those who never did.
In any case, it was far from the main thought on her mind.
She plucked another spider lily, mindful to keep as much of the stem intact as possible, and added it to the crown. There had been something strange in the air when she had woken up, as if the scent of roses that had bloomed in her dream had bled into reality. Even now she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but somehow, the ordinary, everyday situation she was in felt more sharply drawn than usual.
She looked up. Lady Eiki remained still, seemingly content to observe Komachi in her idle work now that matters were settled between them. It was very pleasant in its own way, imagining they could go on like this forever. Only...
Komachi's hands stilled. She had always gone with the flow, living life at her own pace, reserving her energy for things that truly seemed to matter. For the past several months, however, she had felt like she had struck a reef. No-one had ever accused her of being a coward. It was time to act before she had to call herself one. "I take it you're not busy today, Lady Eiki."
"I have some time, yes."
"Then let's go to Gensokyo together. We could enjoy the first autumn leaves and eat baked sweet potatoes. Maybe find some inveterate sinner for you to scold afterwards."
The last bit elicited a hint of a smile. "Perhaps not that last one."
Komachi smiled back. "Better not hold lectures on a full stomach, huh?" She plucked another flower. "Anyway, I'd like to do something like that. Almost like always."
"Almost?"
"Almost." Komachi set the flower crown down on her lap and met Lady Eiki's eyes. "I'd like for it to be a date. A real date."
The wind which blew over them was warmer than any that had ever graced Higan. It carried no response with it. Lady Eiki's expression had turned into a mask, her eyes merely showing Komachi's reflection back at her.
Komachi looked away and made herself smile. "I get it." Life would go on. No matter how much it stung, life would go on. "You can just say you don't feel that way about me and I won't bring it up again."
"I would rather not have to tear out my own tongue."
Komachi snapped her attention back up. Lady Eiki hadn't averted her gaze, but her eyes had turned sorrowful. "You mean—"
"My feelings for you are hardly a secret. The sentiment itself is white." While she still didn't move, Komachi had the sense Lady Eiki fervently wished to look away. "Of course I love you."
Komachi hadn't really thought about what hearing words reciprocating her feelings, even spoken with a such a troubled expression, would feel like. It began as a warmth in her chest which slowly spread as though she was sinking into a scented bath. Not even the prolonged silence and the inevitable however to follow could snuff out the sudden glow. Maybe there wouldn't even be a however if she pre-empted it. "But there's a problem."
"...Yes."
"I used to think there was a problem too, but it can't be what I thought it was. Can you tell me what it really is?"
At length, Lady Eiki nodded.
In a fit of madness, Komachi patted the ground next to her. Her eyes widened as Lady Eiki did indeed sit down, and while she instead settled down opposite of Komachi, she was still close enough that their knees almost touched.
"So." Komachi fingers danced across the ends of the flower crown. She began to extend the wreath in an effort to distract herself from the drowning look in Lady Eiki's eyes. "For ages, I figured there was no point in saying anything about my feelings because you're my boss. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position, and just holding onto the feeling itself was nice enough."
"Yes, I know what you mean."
"So, that's the past couple of centuries. And it could've been a couple of centuries more if not for chance. You know I've never really cared to follow the internal politics of the Ministry."
Lady Eiki's smile was more subdued than usual, but it did at least make a return. "I have noticed that, yes."
The sun above them was slowly beginning to set, turning faintly orange and painting strips of cloud in pale shades of purple and blue. Komachi found her attention drawn to it as she spoke. "Anyway, that's probably why it took me so long to notice it. There's no actual rule about which co-workers can date each others, is there?"
Lady Eiki's smile vanished as she nodded. "The precise rule is that it is permitted as long as it has absolutely no impact on anything that occurs during work hour. It's a rule which isn't being enforced under current circumstances, and barely was at the best of times."
"People need love during tough times."
"They do." But Lady Eiki didn't look any happier for admitting it.
Komachi finished the flower crown. She turned it around in her hands, looking for loose ends, then set it back down. "So if that's not the issue, what is?"
Lady Eiki drew a deep breath and said nothing.
As the silence grew longer, Komachi plucked another spider lily and gestured at the crown. "Want to try making one of these?"
"I don't know how."
"I'll show you." Komachi began weaving more flowers together, exaggerating her movements to make it clear how it worked. "You see?"
"I believe so."
"Here." She handed the nascent crown to Lady Eiki, followed by an especially long-stemmed blossom. "Keep going."
"Thank you." After some initial hesitation, Lady Eiki took to the craft quickly, tying the flower Komachi had given her and several more in place with surprising deftness. Komachi was so engrossed in watching her work that she almost missed her words when she began to speak again. "It was never a matter of law, but of personal conviction. When I became an enma, I made the decision that since I must always prioritise my duty, it would be wiser to hold myself at some distance from others. Only at some, since I must remain grounded enough to understand those I meet, but far enough to avoid causing any unnecessary hurt. In fact..." The flower she had just plucked threatened to slip from her hand, but she then continued working as calmly as before. "More than once, I have wondered if we haven't already crossed that line. That is why I haven't spent much time with you lately beyond what was necessary. I assumed it would be for the best for the both of us."
"And here I thought that was just because of work."
"Work didn't help, no. But there was more to it than that. If I gave you the impression I no longer trusted you as I once did, it was not on purpose."
"I wasn't really worried about that, but it's nice to hear it anyway." Komachi picked another flower and held it out. "It's funny. I thought that as long as I said nothing, I wouldn't be putting you in a tough spot. And now I've both said it and found out it was already a problem." She smiled. "Sorry."
Lady Eiki took the flower. "You did nothing wrong. It was about time we discussed this out in the open." She said nothing further as she busied herself with the crown.
"Can I ask you something, Lady Eiki?"
"Of course."
"Are you stalling and not outright rejecting me because you don't want to hurt my feelings?"
The resonant silence told Komachi all she needed to know.
"Heh." She leaned back to place her hands on the grass. "I can't believe I managed to cow an enma into silence."
"It's not a laughing matter, Komachi."
"If you say so." Komachi grinned. "Look, I'm tough and I'm pretty sure the worst part's already over. Just say what you need to say."
"Very well." Lady Eiki set the nearly completed crown down. "Imagine what it would be like if we were in a relationship. I would have to reprimand you for any dereliction in your duties just as I do now. We would still barely have time for each other. And if there ever came a day when I had to make a choice between you and between what my ability tells me is right..." She shook her head. "You know what I would have to choose. It wouldn't be fair to you, which I why I would rather not put us in a position where that can happen in the first place."
"I mean... You're making that choice right now."
"...Yes, you're right. But entangling ourselves further could only make it worse." Although she hesitated before doing so, Lady Eiki met Komachi's eyes, her gaze as clear and direct as ever. "I'm sorry, Komachi. I really am."
Komachi nodded, then watched as Lady Eiki resumed work on the crown. Once the final flower was secured in place and the two ends were brought together, she cleared her throat. "I have a little more to add to that."
Lady Eiki looked up. "Go ahead."
"Thanks." Komachi straightened up. "So, the real reason why it took me so long to say anything was because I was scared. Not because I was afraid you'd reject me — I actually figured you would. But I didn't want to risk making the situation so awkward we couldn't be ourselves around each other anymore. Even if our working relationship can get thorny, I still wanted to preserve it as it was." Again, she couldn't help but smile. "As if things hadn't already changed before I opened my mouth."
A shadow of a smile passed across Lady Eiki's lips to match Komachi's.
"Anyway, a while ago I got to thinking. I began to wonder if instead of clinging to you and the status quo, I should finally take you up on your offer and get transferred to another department. Then I could have asked you out when you were no longer my boss."
"You really thought of that?"
Komachi shrugged. "Obviously, this was before I pieced together that wasn't the only issue. In any case, I decided against it. First of all, I figured you still wouldn't date me. But what really decided it was that I didn't want to leave you."
Lady Eiki said nothing. Komachi was suddenly reminded of the very first time she had stunned her into silence all those centuries ago. Only, the look in her eyes this time around was different. The earlier regret was melting into something far more tender.
Komachi smiled. "I know our relationship will keep flowing forward from here, and that one day, it'll reach its end. Unless we somehow manage to die at the exact same time, there's no way we'll always be together, and something will probably break us apart long before that. But even if things get awkward after today, I still want to keep travelling side by side with you for as long as I can. As long as we can trust each other, I know we can handle everything else."
Lady Eiki still said nothing, but her eyes were misty.
"There you have it." Komachi blinked, having almost forgotten the most important thing. "Oh! And I love you too. But I think you already knew that."
Lady Eiki did something very unexpected then. She hid her eyes behind her hand.
"Er, Lady Eiki?"
"Oh, Komachi..." Lady Eiki drew a deep breath. She lowered her hand, her eyes suddenly blazing. "You're impossible!"
Komachi started back. "What? All I did was tell the truth!"
"I know that! Why do you think I'm upset?" Lady Eiki rubbed the heel of her hand against her eye. then frowned at Komachi. "I shouldn't be encouraging any worldly desires in the first place, but if you must have them, can you at least cultivate some which are less... pure?"
"...Did you get drunk during the past few minutes without me noticing? Anyway, my feelings are what they are. You can fire me if you really want me to go, but it won't affect my will."
"I don't want you to go."
"Good. I don't want you to want me to go." Inspiration flashed across Komachi's mind. "Is that a less pure desire?"
Lady Eiki muttered something that sounded very much like incorrigible. Still frowning, she returned her attention to the flower crown, turning it around in her hands in search for flaws. Once satisfied, she looked up again, calm once more. "...My desire was to always remain impartial. However, the more I think about it, the more I believe I ceased being so the moment I ceased being stone."
"Your judgements are still impartial. Isn't that the important part?"
"But if I allow my feelings to guide me into breaking my convictions on this matter, can I ever fully trust they won't cloud my judgement in the future?"
"For what it's worth, I know they won't. You won't let that happen." Komachi smiled. "It's a matter of context, right?"
Their gazes remained locked long enough for Komachi to begin to wonder if they had both forgotten how to blink.
Lady Eiki was the first to look away. "Assuming, hypothetically speaking, that I agreed to what you suggested earlier. You understand that while it wouldn't be a secret, our conduct towards each would have to remain unchanged during work hours. Our relationship ought to be essentially invisible to all those not already aware of it."
"I get that."
"I wouldn't go any easier on you when you slack off. If anything, I would find it more important to keep a close eye on you and ensure you work as you should."
"That's what I expected."
"Furthermore..." Lady Eiki's fingers danced across the petals on the crown. "My understanding of intimate relationships is purely second-hand. I'm likely to make many mistakes."
"That's not a crime." Komachi's eyes widened as the epiphany struck her. "Wait."
"Is something wrong?"
"That's not a rejection."
"You're right. It's not."
"So you're not saying you won't date me?"
"That's right."
"So, is what you're saying that you will date me?"
"Yes. I believe it is." Suddenly, Lady Eiki looked shy. "Assuming you still wish to."
For a few more heartbeats, all Komachi could do was stare. Then, the first peal of shocked laughter escaped her lips, followed by amazed laughter, then laughter simply because the sunset was bright and the world was a beautiful place.
If anything, her laughter only grew wilder as Eiki shot her a bewildered look. "I already said it wasn't a laughing matter!"
"B-but..." That was all Komachi managed before she was overwhelmed again. She nearly doubled over as she fought for a breath to keep speaking with. "It's just... you're so..." She finally mastered herself for just a moment. "Of course I do."
"...Ah."
"D-Did... did you really think I would change my mind that quickly?"
"...Not precisely, no. However..."
If Eiki said something else, Komachi couldn't hear it from her laughter. She did, however, after a moment hear a second voice joining hers in mirth, clear and bright and true. The sound was enough to set off Komachi again, and it was a long while until they both had ceased giggling.
"Well." Komachi could just about keep her voice steady, but she couldn't keep the broad grin off her face. "That's settled. Should we still go out tonight, or should we take things at our own pace?"
She picked up the crown she had made and twirled it in her hand. Then, she did what she had thought to do for a while now and leaned over to slot it over the crown Eiki was already wearing. It settled comfortably in place like an additional band.
"If it's your pace we're talking about..." Eiki returned the favour, and Komachi found herself with spider lilies encircling her head. She stayed still as Eiki gently guided her ponytails through the wreath and settled it in place. "We should plan to have our first date about five years from now."
"Is it already time for our first argument as a couple?" Komachi hovered her hand by the blossoms on her brow. "They must clash with my hair."
"They suit you very well."
"I can't believe an enma would lie like that."
"It's the honest truth."
Komachi laughed. Was it really as simple as this? Could she just keep smiling and talking and leaning into the comforting pressure of the bond between her and Eiki which had already changed and would keep changing, but which held regardless? It really seemed like she could. "Maybe for tonight we could go for a walk along the river."
"I would like that."
"By the way, when you say our relationship should be invisible to anyone not already in the know, does that mean I'm actually obliged to keep at my usual ferrying pace?"
"Oh, that won't be an issue. Do feel free to work harder whenever you please."
"Damn."
"In fact, if I discover you using our relationship as an excuse to slack off more than usual, I may have to reconsider everything we have discussed today."
Komachi wiped away a mock tear. "Such cruelty! I think this calls for punishment."
"Really? What kind?"
They were both smiling widely by then. Then, as one woman, they leaned forward and promptly smashed their foreheads together.
Komachi jerked back, seeing stars. When her vision cleared, she saw Eiki blinking at her, stupefied.
Then the laughter began anew.
"There!" Komachi managed between giggles. "Punishment! Clearly!"
Eiki waited until her laughter broke before responding, smiling even as her hand crept to her temple to assess the damage. "But why were you punished as well?"
"Maybe I'm too much in love with you."
"You really are impossible." Still holding back laughter, Eiki removed her crown, flowers and all, and placed it gently amidst the spider lilies before just as gently leaning towards Komachi. "Let's try this again."
And so it came to pass, as simple as breathing.